People take pictures of each other

I believe it was Heisenberg who first theorized the contradiction of documenting rock shows. “What we see is not a rock show, but a rock show subjected to incessant, annoying, flashing lights.” Seriously though, perhaps there should be some rule whereby you’re not allowed to take more pictures than there are people in attendance. There’s a certain point at which you feel like you’re watching a photo shoot. Not that there’s anything wrong with photo shoots, mind you, but let’s call it what it is. Worst of all, it makes me feel guilty taking one humble picture of a band I really like but only get to see upon the rarest of occasions.

As annoying as flash photography can be, it doesn’t hold a candle to the dude who stood in front of me the other night. Stationed by a lamp with his camcorder, he had taken upon himself the task of videotaping a band playing a house party. Most of the footage he shot was in the dark, but at random points he would turn on the lamp for about sixty seconds at a time. I don’t know about you, but my eyes work in such a way that immediate, drastic changes in the amount of light cause discomfort.

If he had simply left the lamp on or off, I wouldn’t have minded his little camcording venture, but I suppose his artistic vision demanded a tapeful of unintelligible footage punctuated by brief segments where you could actually see what was going on. My frustration eventually compelled me to unscrew the lamp’s light bulb. The next time he reached for the lamp, he turned the switch several times before complaining to his neighbor. “This light doesn’t fucking work!” I chuckled to myself in that petty way I have, basking in the blog fodder I had just spawned. The joke was ultimately on me, though, since I had neglected to actually remove the light bulb from the lamp. He pieced together the puzzle, screwed the light bulb back in, and once again subjected everyone to his decelerated, photon-based version of Chinese water torture.